I always have something unimportant to say. This is Artitude…. Live it. Poems….. Stories…. Writing…. Discoveries…. Quotes……

Like the typical Nigerian movie, I also have a part two. Tell me you are not surprised, because that is normal in Nigeria just like power outages. Just sit back and enjoy.

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We moved on after the conversation. By then Ibadan was far behind and the road was free. We occasionaly ran into other buses and their names were hilarious. From Obiageri to ólisadebe e.t.c. We encountered Police checkpoints every Fifteen minutes and it slowed our journey down. One Coke, Two Galas and Five calls from my Dad was all i had into the journey. One pregnant woman said ”Driver,abeg I wan piss” and there was no response. “Driver, abeg stop make i piss” and again there was no response. “Driver,you better stop before I use my big belle knock you down”. “Woman,what is your problem, àbi na me impregnate U ? ” , the driver replied. ”wish kain talk be that,who go marry fat driver like you’’. And so the Trouble started. A became the mediator and tried my best to pacify both parties without taking sides. I reassured the woman saying “Don’t worry ma,we’ll soon get to Benin-Ore road and you wont need permission to go down”.

Like Nostradamus ,we got to Benin-Ore road and there was a terrible holdup. Typical Nigerians, hawkers exploited it to the fullest. Bus drivers got down and started conversing. I turned my attention to the young lady beside me “Emm…,excuse me, can I see the book you are reading”. She handed it to me. I asked “so what’s it about”. The girl spoke in a very thick Igbo accent. “Well, I just start,so i have not understand it much”. Guess what, she was on Page 126 ! I tried to go back to my own book,but she wont let me. “what is your name”, she asked.. “Lucinda”, I replied. Now don’t get me wrong, Yours truly doesn’t like lying, but she has different names for different occasions. “ Really mine is Lumacinda”. I tried cutting her off,but she was relentless. She told me of her trips abroad and how she had met white people. I soon found out that the ‘abroad’ is our own Abuja. I think these ‘white peeps’ are probably albinos. Shuo, See village gal oh.. I just kept on nodding and smiling while listening to M.I’s Teaser. After all, na me ask for trouble.

The hold up was cleared Two hours later but Luma was still babbling. I was tired by then, so I stylishly dozed off with a smile on my face. I woke up Thirty minutes later to find her talking to the guy beside her. Talk about unleashing her potentials. Soon we got to Benin and the pregnant woman got off but for me, the journey continued. “Nzobu Enyimba Eyim”. O.P. sang tirelessly as though he just realized that he hadn’t said anything in Six hours. By then, my dad had called several times to know my whereabouts. I’m sure he was mentally drawing a map of my trip back at home. We drove on with Mr. O.P. singing and Miss Lumacinda chatting incessantly. Of course yours truly is not the quiet type but it was funny watching other people show their talents.

We finally got to Onitsha, where we cooled off a bit. “Don’t go too far,I’m taking off soon”, the driver barked. I sat back in the bus but the driver came over and shouted “Madam, get down na”. Imagine the insult ! Me ? MADAM ?.. No be your fault Oloshi ! I eased myself and bought some snacks. I couldn’t buy bread because their names were simply outrageous !

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I’m sorry but this means there’ll be a third part. I promise its going to be the last.
Bye !!!


Comments on: "THE CRAZY ME………………….. PART 2" (5)

  1. yournumberonefan. said:

    ahn ahn… Wish kind of tin is this?. I suspect u have not complete it. But i go and read it, and now you have cause me suspense :-‘( …….
    Seriously, i think i’m hooked on nmawood stories now..
    And pls… I know A LOT o’ ladies who’d marry rich fat drivers 😀

  2. Nma! You ”is” just another kind. What is thisssss? Nma tours right?

  3. @versh, 🙂 yea I guess you could call it that. Nma tours…hmmm sounds nice. Lol.
    @mynooneanonymousfan. Lol. I’ve completed it jor. :-P. And I cant remember saying the driver was rich o.

  4. 😦 why evils na?

  5. @Rino, lol. What evils?

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